Missing the Grain

Avocado Party, Bowdoinham ME

I miss film. I miss it like you might miss an old friend. An old friend who lives far away and always makes you smile. Maybe you've forgotten that you miss this person and suddenly a memory triggers something, you laugh, then smile, then wish you could hang out together. You remember how many good days (and nights) you've had with this old friend. That's how I feel about film right now.

I miss seeing grain. I miss the surprise when you get a roll of film back. I miss the feel of a sturdy camera in my hands. I love you digital, but you still don't hold a candle to my love for a technology that may have passed us by.

Matrix Ben, NYC subway

Why this sudden sentimental overload? I think it has been building slowly. When I look at some images shot in a square format I remember that I own a Hasselblad and that I can also go out make cool square images . Then I sigh and go do something on my computer. The final kicker was Friday night when I went to see a show at the Portland Museum of Art called 'Backstage Pass'. Brightly painted walls covered with Rock & Roll photography, grainy and gritty and sometimes candid but all amazing. I stared at image after image shot on film, often in low light, sometimes even exposed somewhat poorly and ached for my old equipment and a roll of film. I wanted to take my Pentax K1000 and stand on a street corner, camera dangling at my waist and shoot an entire roll of Tri-x 'from the hip'.

The Naked Cowboy, NYC

So, I have pulled out the rugged Hassy today and realized there is still an unfinished roll in it that has been in there at least a year. I searched for more 120 film at home and was sad to discover there was none. I'm not sure why that was a surprise to me, especially since I have always been much more of a 35mm shooter, but it was. I could take the ancient Pentax for a walk, but the battery is dead and the battery compartment seems to be sealed shut. Guess it's been awhile since that camera has been put to use! So, I am dusting off the medium format beauty (ashamed that I let it get dusty in the first place) and heading out the door to get some film, find some inspiration, and remember what it feels like to shoot film. Then I will wait impatiently for the results.